Monday, June 23, 2008

Why New York Is Fast Becoming The New LA

Meet Victoria. A woman so very absolutely fashionably powerful, she made bobs on par with fishnet stockings and pleather, and Birkins, well, less-than-desirable. So what's new with Vicky, did you say? Well, the supreme overlord of everything t*cky will be unveiling "POSH frocks" during NY fashon week. Frockin' exiciting, don't you agree? Hmm?

Well, Victoria has said that her "POSH frocks" collection will be "very upscale" and "very expensive", using obscenely "very expensive fabrics and finishes, lots of embroideries". Fabulous. Evidently, this collection is something "completely different from what I've ever done". So would that mean we can expect to see no camel toe-inducing frocks? Would it?

Victoria has said that she has "picked up knowledge" from good pal, and ruler of everything in good taste, King Roberto Cavalli. Well, if you got advice from Cavalli, what can't you do? This time, this isn't a rhetorical question.

In conclusion, I expect to see illegal and be-dazzling amounts of glitter and rhinestones, bra straps coming out of pink suede corset dresses, finger-less motorcyle gloves a la Lagerfeld, hot hot hot pants, and loads of six-inch f*ck me pumps.

I can smell a CFDA nomination, can't you?

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